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Canadian
Medical Humor Please send us jokes or humorous stories about the Canadian Health Care system. No "adult" humor, and no jokes making fun of our patients. Perfectly OK though to poke fun at administrators, bureaucracy, the American health system, etc. Canadian Healthcare Jokes:. What do you call a man who ignores his doctors' advice? The Minister of Health. An American, a Scot and a Canadian were in a terrible car accident. The RCMP brought then to the provincial emergency ward, but all three of them died before they could be seen by the doctor. Just as they were about to put the toe tag on the body of the American, he opened his eyes and sat up. Astonished, the doctor asked him what happened. "Well, " said the American, "I remember the crash, and then there was a beautiful white light. Suddenly the Canadian and the Scot and I were standing at the gates of heaven. St. Peter looked us over and said that we were too young to die. He decided that for a donation of $50 each, we could return to the earth. Of course I pulled out my wallet and gave him the $50, and the next thing I knew I was back here." "That's amazing!" said one of the doctors, "But what happened to the other two?" "Last I saw them," replied the American, "the Scot was haggling over the price and the Canadian was waiting for the National Health Service to pay for his." A man from British Columbia went to his doctor and said that he wanted to become a Newfie. The doctor replied, "If I remove a quarter of your brain you will become a Newfie. I'll call you when the surgery is scheduled." Three years later, when he got to the top of the waiting list for his surgery, the man went in and got the operation. When he woke up, the doctor looked apologetic, "I'm afraid my knife slipped during the surgery. Instead of taking out one quarter of your brain, I accidentally took out three quarters. Do you feel all right? " The man replied, "Comme ci, comme ça." Canadian [ku'neydeeun] definition: A disarmed American with free health care Canadians have universal healthcare. How do they afford it when their neighbor to the south is too poor to do so?
Everyone should have a spouse, because there are a number of things that could go wrong that one might not be able to blame on the National Health Service. A Provincial Health
Ministry Official sits in his office twiddling his thumbs. After he gets tired
of doing that, he decides to see what's in his old filing cabinet. He pokes
through the contents and comes across an old brass lamp. "This will look
nice on my mantelpiece," he decides, and takes it home with him. While
polishing the lamp, a genie appears and grants him three wishes. "I wish
for an ice cold Molson right now!" He gets his drink and sips it. Now that
he can think more clearly, he states his second wish. "I wish to be on a
tropical island where beautiful women indulge my every whim." Suddenly he
is on a beach under a palm tree surrounded by gorgeous women. He tells the genie
his third and last wish: "I wish I'd never have to work ever
again."…
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Northern County Psychiatric Associates
Offices in Monkton and Lutherville, Maryland
Copyright © 1998 Northern County Psychiatric Associates
Last modified:
January 02, 2005
