Ever since our country established a system of universal compulsory education, educators and clinicians have begun to notice students with ADHD-like symptoms. It has gone by many names and has been addressed in many different ways.

Part of dealing with medication is dealing with the issue of stigma. Some children may think that only the "bad" kids go to the nurse to get stimulants. Other children enjoy their daily visits to the nurse. When students line up to see the nurse, the students sometimes figure out who is getting the Ritalin. For some sensitive children, this may be a reason to consider other medications. In other cases, some general classroom education about ADHD and medications may suffice.

Community support is important during and after the time of the initial diagnosis. It is easy for a family to become overworked or overwhelmed. At such a point, the family might be tempted to withdraw into itself just when support is most needed. Extended family can be an important source of support, but can sometimes also be a source of tension. Parents often feel that extended family members do not understand the situation. Educating grandparents and extended family can take time.  

Sometimes, the parent feels that further educational intervention is needed. Educational funding is not plentiful, so then the parent may need to become a more active advocate. When advocating for your child, try to start off with a positive attitude. Be aware of your child’s educational and legal rights, but do not start off by quoting the law to staff. For children in the public schools, there is specific, legally mandated system to help determine the child's educational needs. If you feel that your child needs educational testing or special education resources, ask for an official meeting to review your child's educational plan. Often parents can assist the school in gathering information to determine whether the child needs testing or special help. If your child has a special educational plan (IEP), always review it carefully before the formal meeting. If possible, both parents should come to the meeting. If one parent is feeling angry or frustrated, try to have the calmer parent do the talking. If the special education process is confusing, you may seek out an educational advocate to come to the meeting with you. If the school does the testing, you do not have to pay for it. Try to meet with the school psychologist to go over the test results before the official school meeting. You may obtain outside evaluations, at your own expense, to bring to the school meeting.

If you have the time and energy, try to volunteer time for your child’s school. Volunteers can free up some of the teacher’s time. This may, indirectly, give her more time to focus on your child's needs. This also gives the parent an opportunity to get to know the school environment and some of the child's classmates. Having a good knowledge of the functioning of your child's school can help clear up potential misunderstandings.

Some parents choose to arrange for private evaluations or tutoring. Speech therapy, occupational therapy and some other services may be covered by some insurance plans. Some companies have dependent medical care plans which allow the parent to put pre-tax money aside for medical and child care expenses. This can be used to cover certain kinds of assessments and treatments not covered by insurance or paid by the school. Check with your employer or tax specialist. Many private schools have arrangements with tutors and speech therapists. In these cases, the parents usually pay for the services. In some situations, a child in a private school may qualify for free services funded by the public schools. In this case, the parent usually has to drive the child to a public school to get the services there.

A child with a short attention span may have more difficulty sitting down, turning off the TV and doing homework on his own. It helps to have a specific time and place for the child to do homework. In some cases, supportive parental supervision can be valuable. This can be a positive opportunity for the parent to see what the child is doing academically. The parent can also go over concepts that the child may have missed when not paying attention. As the student enters middle and high school, the direct supervision of homework shifts more to a coaching model which I will discuss later.

Some students may need medication adjustment so that they can focus enough to do their homework. For some students, particularly those with learning disabilities, the standard amount of homework is just too much. They and their parents spend the entire evening struggling and arguing about getting it done. There is no enjoyable family time left before bedtime. If this is truly the case, the parent should talk to teachers about allowing shortened assignments or setting a time limit on homework. Conversely, some parents ask for extra assignments so that the student can work at home on assignments not finished during the day.  

One of the most important skills, taught both at home and school, is how to get along with others. This may be the most important skill the ADHD child has to learn. Some ADHD individuals are naturally gregarious and popular. However, there are also a large number of individuals who have significant social deficits. Parents of younger students can help by encouraging constructive play dates. They can sometimes talk to the teacher about facilitating opportunities for socializing. If the student is not good at academics or athletics, he may have an interesting hobby such as fossil collecting. The student and parent might do a class presentation about the hobby or help the science class arrange a field trip connected with the hobby. The right marital arts class can instill a sense of confidence, help coordination and teach appropriate assertiveness.

Adolescents with ADHD are more likely to be impulsive. Thus parents might want to monitor peer relationships a bit more closely. Since individuals with ADHD are more likely to develop drug problems and sexual acting out, parents should begin education on drugs and sexuality early, and reinforce it often. If impulsivity is a problem after hours, consider a long acting stimulant. Teachers and guidance counselors may be the first to notice if an adolescent has changed peer groups or is hanging out with the "burnouts."  

It is always tricky to tell a parent when and how to gradually move from direct supervision of homework to more of a coaching role. For some adolescents, the parent must continue to supervise homework for more years than would the parent of a non-ADHD teen. Parents may accomplish this gradual pullback by the use of calendars, checklists, and Day Planners. Some adolescents are more motivated to use these than others. Regular contact with teachers can give the parent feedback on whether they need to be as directly involved in homework supervision.

Older elementary school children and adolescents should be educated about ADHD and, if applicable learning disabilities. For the adolescent, knowledge and acceptance of his strengths and weaknesses can help him make good choices. Denial of one's difficulties is common at this age.

Ultimately the most important thing is to instill in your child a positive self-esteem and an attitude of responsibility and mastery. The child should be encouraged to learn all he can about ADHD. At the same time, the child should take responsibility for his actions.